Monstera Adansonii (XXL) Monkey mask on Pole Abab

Abab’s survival guide

If Abab was a person, he’d be an angry short seller who’s always yelling profanities into his phone to whoever’s on the other line (and just lost a million bucks because of him). We like plant Abab much better, with his glossy green leaves and distinctive fenestrations (a fancy word for holes). But if Abab got his way we’d ship him off to New York and put him in a corner office with a bunch of traders and brokers shouting “Sell, sell, sell!” and hurling insults that would make even some presidents blush. There’s now a rumor going around the Politeseeds office that he once tried to sell cuttings of his bigger brother Alfredo. The fact that Eileen outed him is Abab’s deepest regret, that and not being planted before bitcoin was a thing.

What makes Abab so special

Abab is a swiss cheese plant with drooping, heart-shaped leaves. They’re beautiful trailing plants that grow quickly when taken care of properly. You’ll find Adansonii’s like Abab growing naturally in South and Central America and the West Indies, but Abab never fit in with his siblings. All they could ever agree on was that indirect light is best. For Abab living the fast life on Wall Street is where he really belongs. And you know what, we can’t blame him. It’s a jungle out there!